Oh, hello there. I’m guessing you’re here in the hopes of finding out just what exactly those crazy college students did to get some attention on the Internet. Unfortunately, I’m here to inform you that you just fell for some good ol’ fashioned clickbait. That’s right! Turns out we didn’t do anything worthy of any sort of Internet recognition. I’m guessing you’re now wondering, “what exactly is clickbait and how the hell can I too trick stupid idiots on the web into looking at your very own poorly crafted articles?” Well my friends, not to worry. I’m here to help explain, and help you generate a bit of clickbait on your very own!
noun: clickbait; noun: click
As our good friends at Urban Dictionary would describe it, “When a news article or link has a provocative title in order to get you to click on it. Even though it's actually total sensationalism bullshit.” That’s right folks, chances are you won’t get to see what Kim Kardashian did to get her engagement ring. Disappointing, huh? Despite how tempting that stock photography may be, and ever so enticing that title may seem, chances are you’re falling for complete bullshit.
Now I know what you’re thinking, what do jerks on the Internet have to gain from all this nonsense? By exploiting the curiosity of gossipy readers across the web, clickbait authors are generating page views for their site through these series of clicks. Through this hoard of clicks web traffic is increased, and so is the sites popularity. In the words of George Strait, “I ain’t here for a long time, I’m here for a good time.” While clickbait relies on its audience clicking through information to spread, they could care less if you stick around after. Seems pretty unfair, doesn’t it? Not to worry though, by following the steps below you too can join the ranks of giant assholes and create your very own clickbait!
Step 1: People love a good title. The key to creating successful clickbait is finding an irresistible topic that nosy Internet people just can’t ignore. Using phrases such as “you WON’T believe…” and “…will CHANGE your life” are both good starting points. No one can resist a chance to believe the unbelievable.
Step 2: Find an equally irresistible, yet seemingly vague, stock image from the good ol’ google machine. Pictures of baby animals and topless women typically make good subject matter, however, the occasional old woman that’s “really 50 but looks 25” is another classic.
Step 3: Combine your elements and spread across a social media outlet of your choosing.